Niles and Everett Kroft were skilled hunters and avid fishermen. They bragged that they could hunt and kill anything they set their minds to. One day, they decided to come onto my lands and see what they could find.
For years there had been rumors of strange and curious animals on my lands, and I did my best to dissuade those rumors. Unfortunately, every few decades, someone like the Krofts decided it was necessary to see if there was any truth to them.
Niles and Everett discovered that there was.
Early on the morning of December 7, they tracked down, shot, and killed one of the small giants who lived in the far eastern corner of my property. She was a gentle soul, perhaps a little slow, even for her kind, but she had been a sweetheart, and I had often enjoyed her company on warm evenings when she would sing to the sheep.
I came upon Niles and Everett while they were in the middle of an argument, trying to decide how best to skin the body and bring the giant’s head home.
I helped resolve their brotherly disagreement by shooting them both in their kneecaps. Then, as the snow fell, I stripped them of their coats and shirts and tied them securely to her corpse. Among her belongings, I found her horn, and I used it to summon several of her brethren from the depths of my forest.
When they arrived, I informed them what the Kroft brothers had done. The giants held a brief palaver, then they agreed upon a fitting punishment.
They carried her body back to their own camp, and they brought the screaming Kroft brothers with them. I accompanied the small troupe, and when we arrived at our destination, I settled in and enjoyed a large mug of beer while the giants went about the process of slowly killing the brothers.
When they finished, the giants used the Krofts’ bones to make their bread.
It was, I must admit, one of the sweetest breads I have had the pleasure of eating.
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